How to Get Out of the System and Survive
Tried & true steps to move past the burnout and reclaim your life.
A voice-note on this piece…
If you don’t yet know my burnout story I invite you to read it here:
How to Get Out of the System...and Survive
1. Wake Up to the Ache
You’ll feel it first as restlessness. A subtle yet consistent ache in your chest, like something inside you knows this life wasn’t built for you. Listen to it. Don’t try to ignore it just by numbing. That ache is there for a reason—it’s your soul knocking.
“Pay attention to the parts of you that feel like they’re quietly dying. They’re not things you should be trying to fix. They’re things you should be listening to.”
Examples of restlessness/the ache look like:
The enthusiasm you used to feel for your tasks/projects starts to vanish. You keep saying you’ll get back to it, but secretly you wonder if you even can anymore.
You dread Mondays (and the Sunday Scaries)—not because you’re lazy, but because every cell in your body resists going back to a life that feels fake.
You start crying on your lunch break or in your car, for reasons you can't explain. It feels dramatic, but it's really grief for the life you're not living.
Your body feels heavy every day, like it’s carrying an invisible weight. You look around and think, “is this what I signed up for?”
You stop caring about the promotions, the compliments, the milestones. What used to feel like progress now feels like a golden cage.
2. Stop Performing/Pretending
You don’t need to keep proving your worth to earn the approval of others. Not from your bosses, society, your parents. The version of success, this ‘template’ that you were handed, is NOT YOURS to follow.
Let that vision/version crumble so clarity around your success can come to you.
“The moment you stop performing/pretending is the moment you start to de-condition from your old self.”
Examples of what performing looks like:
You show up to meetings and smile, but secretly feel like you're playing a character you don’t even recognize anymore.
You work late/extra not because you need to—but because you’re afraid of what people will think if you don’t.
You keep achieving, earning, climbing…but inside, you feel hollow. Like no amount of success makes you fulfilled.
You say yes to everything—even when you're depleted—just so others don’t see you as lazy, difficult, or selfish.
You shape-shift depending on the room you're in—at work, with friends, around family—until you forget what you actually want/who you really are.
3. Build Inner Safety First
You’ll be tempted to jump. To leave the job, burn it all down. But before you do—build an internal sense of safety first. Learn how to trust your instincts, regulate your nervous system, and believe that you are capable of figuring things out—especially in the midst of the unknown.
“You don’t need a 5-year plan. You need a 5-second moment of radical self-trust.”
Example of building inner trust look like:
You pause before reacting—placing a hand on your chest and asking, “What do I really need right now?” instead of rushing into old behaviors/patterns.
You start journaling your fears instead of spiraling in them. You realize that naming them softens their grip.
You create a morning ritual that helps you feel grounded before checking your phone—stretching, praying, walking, or just breathing.
You stop outsourcing every decision. You practice saying, “Let me sit with that” instead of defaulting to other people’s opinions.
You let yourself rest—even when nothing is crossed off your to-do list—because you’re learning that safety isn’t earned, it’s felt.
4. Follow Your Natural Energy
Forget what they told you about being “productive.” Learn how your energy actually works. Discover tools like Human Design, astrology, your own body rhythms. Align your work with your nature—not against it.
“No, you’re not lazy. You’re likely just misaligned.”
Examples of you honoring YOUR energy:
You realize that your best ideas don’t come from hustle—they come when you’re rested, walking, or in the shower. So you stop forcing inspiration.
You let go of the 9-to-5 mindset and start designing your days around your natural flow—even if it means working at 7pm and resting at noon.
You stop comparing your productivity to others and start asking, “What would feel nourishing for me to do right now?”
You stop labeling your sensitivity or slowness as “wrong.” Instead, you see them as clues to what makes you powerful.
5. Create Before You Consume
Every day, write something. Say something. Make something. Even if it’s small. Even if no one sees it. This is how you begin to reclaim your voice.
“The system thrives on your silence. Sharing your true expression is your greatest act of rebellion.”
Examples of you creating before consuming:
You write in your journal before opening your inbox, reclaiming the first thoughts of the day as yours.
You dance in your shower/kitchen to a song that moves you, before checking what’s trending or “urgent.”
You open a blank note on your phone and pour out a story, an idea, a memory—no edits, no audience—just you.
You post something that feels real instead of waiting for the perfect caption, lighting, or timing to come.
You notice how you feel after scrolling, and how different you feel after expressing—then start choosing expression more often.
6. Keep Your Overhead Low
Freedom isn’t about more money—it’s about less dependency. Get creative with your living situation. Learn to live simply. The less you owe, the more you own your life.
“Design your life so you don’t have to sell your soul to survive.”
Examples of ways to keep your overhead low:
You downsize to a smaller space—not as a set back, but as a conscious decision to create more space in your life for freedom.
You cancel subscriptions or unnecessary expenses that drain you more than serve you.
You meal prep simple, nourishing foods instead of eating out because it saves money and brings you back into rhythm.
You start a service-based side hustle using the skills you already have—coaching, design, writing, organizing, fulfilling a service—to bridge your income.
You remind yourself: less overhead = more creative freedom. You’re not failing, you’re freeing yourself.
7. Don’t Do It Alone
Find other people/connections who feel like you. Share your doubts, your wins, your weird ideas. Trade skills. Cry on Zoom. Start a group chat. This path is wild—but not one that is meant to be walked alone.
“See community as your new currency because it is; it’s an energy exchange than can lead you toward unexpected opportunities.”
Examples of living in community:
You start voice-noting with a friend who’s also on the path—sharing realizations, doubts, and wins without filtering yourself.
You join a circle, a group chat, or a monthly Zoom where people get it—not just where they talk, but where they listen.
You stop hiding your dreams and start sharing them out loud, even shakily, to someone you trust.
You let someone support you without apologizing for being “too much” or “too emotional.”
You find people whose very presence feels like fresh air—and instead of shrinking, you allow yourself to be seen.
8. Say Yes to Being Seen Differently
Not everyone will understand. Some people will fall away. Let them. You’re not here to be understood—you’re here to be you. The right people will find you when you stop hiding.
“Let the old identity die. You were never meant to fit in.”
Examples of being seen differently:
You start sharing things online or in conversation that reflect who you are now—and feel the tension of people not responding like they used to.
You notice certain friendships fading, not out of conflict, but because you no longer bond over the same things.
You say something from your heart and immediately feel the urge to backpedal—but don’t. You let it land.
You show up in a new way—dressed differently, speaking more slowly, choosing softer energy—and feel the awkwardness of being perceived anew.
You allow people to misunderstand you without chasing after their approval. You stop over-explaining and you start honoring your truth.
9. Build an Exit Ramp, Not an Escape Plan
This isn’t about running away—it’s about running towards your new life. Start with a bridge job. Sell one service. Offer one session. Teach what you know. Trust that it will grow if it’s naturally who you already are.
“Start with what you know and start now.”
Examples of building your exit ramp:
You begin offering one service on the side—coaching, writing, designing, supporting others—just to see what sticks.
You shift your schedule or negotiate part-time hours to give yourself room to explore, create, or rest.
You research what it would take to freelance, contract, or consult—making a plan instead of waiting for a sign.
You invest your energy in a project you actually care about before you try to make it profitable.
You stop romanticizing the “quit everything overnight” narrative and instead start moving with grounded momentum.
10. Redefine Success on Your Terms
Create a life that feels good in your being, not just “on paper”. Let your level of joy be the measure. And your level of freedom be the end goal.
“If it doesn’t feel like freedom, it’s not it.”
Examples of redefining success:
You stop obsessing over numbers—followers, dollars, likes—and start asking, “Does this feel good in my being?”
You celebrate small wins: sleeping in without guilt, resting without apology, creating without needing a result.
You define wealth not by your bank account—but by how aligned your time, energy, and your relationships feel.
You start choosing work that feels like service, not sacrifice. Expression, not exhaustion.
You remind yourself daily: “I’m not here to impress the world. I’m here to live a life that stays true to my soul.”
And remember…this isn’t a race. It’s a reclamation of your personal power.
The version of you reading this now—she’s already living proof that you made it out.
She’s writing to you from the other side.
And she’s so proud of you for having the courage to begin.
Love,
—Rosaura for The Feminine Ethos
P.S. Need Support?
If you’re at the brink of a transition—leaving a job, starting a brand, rebuilding after burnout, or trying to align your life with your energy—we work with women 1:1 and in small, intentional groups to support your growth journey. Message below, or reach out through our email: info@tfethos.com and let us help you get to the next steps.