The Truth Behind Avoidance: Why We Distance Ourselves
Exploring the deeper truth around why we avoid people, places, or uncomfortable conversations.
We’ve all had moments where we find ourselves pulling away from a situation or person, almost instinctively. Maybe it’s a relationship, a conversation, or a place that once brought us comfort but now feels unsettling. It’s easy to blame external factors— “busyness”, stress, or a change in preferences—but more often than not, there’s something much deeper at play.
At the core, avoidance is a protective mechanism.
We distance ourselves from the things that force us to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves, our lives, or even the people around us. Sometimes, these truths challenge the stories we’ve been telling ourselves for years. Other times, they reveal the parts of us that we’ve been too scared to acknowledge—like settling in a relationship or staying in a situation that no longer serves us.
So why do we do it?
When we avoid something or someone, it’s often because being close to them brings up the deeper truth we’re not ready to face. Maybe it’s a friend who embodies the freedom or authenticity we crave but are too afraid to step into. Or maybe it’s a relationship where we sense deep down that something isn’t aligned, but acknowledging it would mean making some pretty tough decisions.
In actuality, avoidance is rarely about the other person/people involved—it’s about our own inner conflict. When we look closely at the relationship dynamics in our lives, we can start to see that where there’s distance, there’s usually an uncomfortable or inconvenient truth that we’re running away from. It’s one of the biggest reasons why people drift apart.
What to-do if you experience this:
Firstly, it’s okay to feel that pull to step back when confronted by an uncomfortable situation. It’s human to want to protect ourselves from discomfort. But if we take a moment to sit with it, we might find that what we’ve been avoiding isn’t as scary as we thought. Maybe it’s an invitation for us to grow, to move through the fear, and to make choices that truly align with our hearts.
The next time you notice yourself withdrawing or making excuses to avoid something, consider asking yourself:
What inner truth am I avoiding?
Hint: it’s usually that hard pill to swallow you prefer not to think about.
What would happen if I stopped running from it and embraced it head on instead?
Often, the answer that is revealed feels extremely liberating—and while it may still require a tough conversation or a difficult decision to be made, it brings us closer to the life that we are meant to live.
Tell us in the comments below if this resonates or you’ve found yourself in a similar state.